Does your Venus connect with Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto? People whose birth charts are strong in the outer planets tend to have extraordinary lives. When Venus is part of the picture and makes strong connections called aspects with the outer planets, they’re also likely to have a love life that is anything but ordinary. It could be anywhere from star-struck to star-crossed! Let’s have a look at some of the patterns you’re likely to see with these folks and see which celebrities share them.

Venus and Uranus: (Similar to Venus in Aquarius) People with this aspect have to learn to “hang loose” in relationships or suffer many setbacks. Plain old laundry-folding, rent-paying love doesn’t interest them-they want excitement, glitter, and variety. Furthermore, there’s often an attraction to slightly dangerous, potentially volatile types, just for the sheer adrenaline rush. They generally relate to people vastly different from themselves-sometimes people from vastly different backgrounds, and sometimes the funky, rebellious, nonconformist who’ll jump on a motorcycle and roar off into the sunset.

This can be exciting as long as you don’t get possessive and don’t want roots and commitment-but insist on them with these Uranian types, and you’ll suddenly find them gone. Sudden changes and disruptions in the love life mark this aspect-no Golden Anniversary celebrations likely. And don’t expect the person to be there for you consistently…your Uranian partner is likely to be too detached to relate to your feelings. So what’s in it for you? You’re the one doing the choosing, and you chose this paragon, following the itch of that Venus-Uranus aspect. For more security, you may have to learn to care for people who aren’t quite as stimulating, but who are more likely to be there when you need them.

What positives are there in this aspect? It results in a cosmopolitan experience and the ability to get along with many different kinds of people. Often you come in contact with interesting and stimulating people from a variety of cultures and backgrounds who broaden your mind-I call this the Universal Brotherhood aspect. You may also be able to relate to young people and help them through the turmoil of growing up. Furthermore, you may be open and receptive to new acquaintances who are forever drawn into your orbit, so you are always learning from them.

Venus-Uranus People: Those with the conjunction-the strongest of the aspects in that the two planets stand together-include Tom Cruise, Michael Jackson, fitness advocate Richard Simmons, Elizabeth Taylor, and Candice Bergen.

Venus and Neptune: (Similar to Venus in Pisces.) Frequently a savior/martyr complex exists in the love relationships of people born under this aspect. You may very well choose people you think you can reform-Neptune/twelfth house types of people such as ex-cons, alcoholics, invalids, or severely wounded people. A pattern of choices like these can leave you hurt when your goals of reform or cure are unrealistic. After you’re hurt a few times by alcoholics, you may avoid them, but proceed to some other Neptunian type. Oddly enough, the more different your potential partners appear on the outside, the more they are alike in their crucial innermost qualities.

With this aspect your psychic sensitivity is very keen, even if you’re using it for self-destructive choices. Before you can stop “magically” picking out partner after partner that fits such a pattern, you must become aware of your part in the situation and of why you may unconsciously pick people who hurt you. You are not a victim, although with this aspect you might secretly enjoy believing you are-if so, you’re one of those people who enjoy the role of martyr. Despite blatant clues that are red flags to those around you, neurotic need blinds you to the true nature of these people. It might be that dysfunctional partners unconsciously make you feel superior while at the same time like a very special, terribly compassionate super-being who will work the miracle of cure.

Often, too, the problem is related to the model of codependent relationships you saw at home. As a social worker, I found that almost every woman whose husband was an alcoholic had a father or other significant person in her childhood who drank heavily. The masochistic satisfaction her mother derived from being the rescuer and Rock of Gibraltar for the family transmitted itself to the daughter and shaped her vision of what marriage was like. She wound up selecting either a man who drank too much but “gave it up for me”- gave it up, that is, until the first bloom of love wore off. Or else she chose a man of whom she says, “I didn’t know he drank,” even though she should have been extremely familiar with the signs and symptoms because of her own father. Wives of drug addicts show similar dynamics.

The “way out” for a Venus-Neptune person is to relate compassionately to such troubled people without feeling the necessity to rescue them and play the martyr. A better choice of mate might be someone who personifies the positive traits of Neptune-spirituality, creativity, and dedication to service.

Venus-Neptune People: Those with the conjunction include Bill Clinton, Richard Gere, Meg Ryan, Jodi Foster, Christopher Reeve, and Matt Damon.

Venus and Pluto: (Similar to Venus in Scorpio) With this combination, you may alternate between extremes-being a loner or getting into symbiotic (joined at the hip) relationships so smothering and possessive that it’s hard to remain an individual. Jealousy, suspicion, and lack of trust are usually present, along with brooding and bitterness over former lovers you drove away with the smothering routine. “Til death do us part” is your motto in any relationship, so you find it hard to forget-or forgive-the ones that got away. Yet, your intensity and neediness can overwhelm people and make them feel so smothered that they leave.

Control may also be an important issue in your relationships-if it is and if you don’t have it, you may manipulate and maneuver until you get it. If the other person is in control, you may exercise the final word in control by leaving. Obviously, this manner of relating to other people leaves them (and you) without much freedom or individuality, and isn’t likely to make either of you happy. Letting up on your control and possessiveness is hard work, but persisting in these patterns warps your relationships.

Venus-Pluto People: Those with the conjunction include Antonio Banderas, Duchess Sarah Ferguson, Beyonce Knowles, Dr. Phil McGraw, Simon Cowell, and Raquel Welch.

We’ve only been able to skim the surface of outer planet aspects to Venus here. How the relationship patterns connected with them arise and how to use them in more constructive ways are very complex questions. To understand where a specific relationship fits into your life, you’d do well to consult a professional astrologer.